Have you ever read a book that changed your life?
Growing up, reading was my kryptonite. I struggled in school when it came to reading, so I just told myself that I did not like to read from a young age. I never wanted to read aloud and struggled with comprehending what I was reading.
As an adult, I have found out that I love to read. I love to read what I want to read.
If I am the least bit interested, my mind wanders, and while my eyes are looking at the words in front of me, my brain is doing everything else besides taking those words in and reading the story.
I do not judge a book by its cover, but I sure do by the end of the first chapter.
All or nothing Sabrina is here.
I will either not be able to put the book down or end up putting it down so quickly it ends up lost forever.
A friend of mine sent me Untamed by Glennon Doyle a good while ago and told me how impactful it was for her. I kept putting it off and reading other books, knowing I was just not ready for real life, real problems, and real issues.
I was hiding in fictional books just like I was hiding that my anxiety was at an all-time high.
But, the day came where I knew I needed real life, real problems, real issues, and the truth hurts but let’s get past that type of book.
I knew I would be driving a lot, so I bought the audio version so I could enjoy the book in the car, and within the first hour of the book, I texted the friend that recommended the book far too long ago and said,
“my neck hurts from shaking it yes during this book. You were right. Amazing”.
The author, Glennon Doyle, discusses the highs and lows of marriage, parenting, and overall life.
She discusses the struggles of being able to come to a conclusion. I have such a hard time with that concept as an adult. I wish so desperately that someone else could make all my big life decisions, tuck me into bed and tell me everything will be okay in the morning.
She explains a day where she just typed into Google, hoping it could answer her question for her. I immediately laughed, thinking to myself, “oh man, if people could see my search history. Between my love for reality TV shows, murder mysteries, and my lack of accepting that I am the adult in the room majority of the time, my search history would confuse so many people”.
But, at that moment, she made me feel so human in my fears.
Throughout her book, not only did I feel every emotion, but I also felt so empowered to feel those emotions.
“Being human is not about feeling happy, it’s about feeling everything.”
For such a long time, I felt that I needed to have an end goal of feeling HAPPY.
JUST HAPPY. Like once I am happy, I have mastered it all.
Glennon is right, though; you need to feel everything.
Could I appreciate happiness without having moments of sadness?
Would I appreciate the feeling of excitement if I never felt a moment of disappointment?
By the end of the book, I was proud of myself for having all the feelings. I have been through some of the highest highs and had to be dug out of the lowest lows.
Where I am today is nowhere near where I thought I would be 10, 5, or 1 year ago...but guess what, everything I have ever not known has ended up being the best-known thing in my life, so I am happy with continuing on that path.
I am ending 2021 by stopping the need to plan every aspect of what, how, and why I should feel a certain way, where I should be, or what I should be.
I am ending this year feeling everything, and I am starting next year doing the same.
I am going to feel my feelings. I am going to stop trying to survive.
I am going to start to live.
I will live in the moment, and I hope that you can do the same with the start of 2022.