written by
Sabrina Johnson

WHEN THE WORLD CONTINUES TO SPIN

caregiver Narrative 3 min read , June 8, 2022

Have you ever had a moment in your life that has stopped you in your tracks?

Your life turned upside down instantly, yet the world rotates as if nothing happened.

In these moments, I would be filled with such a mixture of emotions.

While I would be processing the change of events, I would find myself more angry and jealous of the people in the parking lot, the grocery store, and the random hallway.

How can my world be spinning at a speed that did not seem possible? How did their world continue to carry on with laughter and smiles with no change in speed, direction, or care?

There were moments when I would want to turn into this alter ego version of myself and scream at the random people who were laughing, smiling, and enjoying life.

HOW COULD YOU BE HAPPY RIGHT NOW!?! HOW COULD YOU ?!?! DON’T YOU KNOW THIS JUST HAPPENED TO ME?!?!

But they don’t.

And life continues… not just for the random people, but for you too.

When I find myself wanting to switch into the alter ego version of screaming at random people to make them understand my emotions, I like to think of a scenario I heard years ago:

A hospital is a strange place. In one building on the same day, you can encounter three completely different situations. A family bringing life into the world, a son holding his dad’s hand as he takes his last breath to leave the world, and someone who experimented a little too hard and is on their way for an x-ray for something stuck in their butt. One building, three completely different situations, all of which are having their worlds turned upside down. One building, one day, a mixture of emotions.

Just like a hospital, life is a strange place. We suffer in silence; we panic in public; we try our best to make it one more day.

The world will continue to spin around us, and there will be days where that really sucks. There will be days when we want the world to stop for a moment, let us catch our breath, and give us a moment, just one moment, to process.

The best part about the world continuing to spin is that it some days will not really suck.

One day, your upside down becomes right side up, and you release that you are the one laughing, smiling, and enjoying life.

What we all need to remember, though, is that not everyone is having the same day.

A hospital, life, caregiving, it is all strange.

One day, in the same room, you can encounter different emotions regarding the same situation.

A loved one is happy that there is a plan of attack, a child holding their parent’s hand fearing when they will hold it last, and someone standing in the corner hoping no one breathes too deeply because they fear that it was not just gas…

A mixture of emotions.

The world will stop us all in our tracks

Never at the same time.

Never when we are prepared for a halting, screeching stop

But there will always be someone wishing the world would stop spinning

On the days when your life stands still, remember that someone else might still be dizzy.

On the days when your life seems blurry because the world around you is spinning faster than you thought was humanly possible, reach your hand out for help.

Your life might be spinning, but someone else’s is still. Let that person be there to grab your hand and slow down the spinning.

Remember that this is all strange, whether you feel upside down, right side up, sideways twice over.

There are no rule books.

There are no right ways or wrong ways.

We are all trying to make it one more day, but the only way is to slow down the spinning.

The world will continue to spin around you. The world will stop us all in our tracks. Never at the same time.

Reach your hand out and let the still standing person grab your hand and slow your spinning, let that person help.